George Toparceanu–Autumn in the park

This is a sweet, funny poem, typical of Toparceanu’s lyrical sensibility. It’s also perfectly seasonal, seeing as to how, finally, fall has come around here, after a prolonged, humid, smelly, insufferable summer. I learned this poem from my father (who loved it!) when I was very very young. I didn’t understand the irony one bit (what, I was 6? 7, maybe?), so the poem might have been lost on me then. However, I never forgot it, and to this day I could still recite it at will!

I’ve included the raw, literal translation in the middle, then my version, which preserves, mostly, the trochaic, 8-syllable rhythm–at some linguistic expense, though, as it is patently clear.

Toamna în parc de George Toparceanu Cad grăbite pe aleea Parcului cu flori albastre Frunze moarte, vorba ceea, Ca iluziile noastre. Prin lumina estompată De mătasa unui nor, Visătoare trece-o fată C-un plutonier-major. Rumen de timiditate El se uită-n jos posac. Ea striveşte foi uscate Sub pantofii mici de lac. Şi-ntr-o fină discordanţă Cu priveliştea sonoră, Merg aşa, cam la distanţă, El major şi ea minoră…

Autumn in the Park (raw version) Hurriedly [they] fall on the alley Of the park with blue flowers Dead leaves, as the saying goes, Like our illusions. Through the light blurred By the silk of a cloud, A girl is walking, dreaming, With a sergeant-major. Ruddy with shyness, He looks down, sullenly. She squashes dry leaves Under her small patent shoes. And in a fine discordance With the sonorous view They walk sort of at a distance, He a major, she a minor…

Fall in the park by George Toparceanu Falling swiftly on the alley Of the park with flowers blue In a long autumnal rally, Dead leaves—as our dreams are, too. In the light that’s softly sifting Through the silken cloud below, Dreamily a girl is drifting, Sergeant major in her tow. Timid, flushed, and all aflutter, He looks down, very confused, She is squashing leafy clutter. Under her small patent shoes. And in a refined discordance With the view that’s ever finer, They keep walking, at a distance, He a major—she a minor.

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